Blue and Leafy

Androids!

2007-07-07T11:23:42Z

So what do you do when your android gets a cough? Give it robo-tussin.

Hamming it up

2004-03-12T18:14:14Z

What do you call the difficult realization that perhaps you should not have been eating raw bacon?

Tricky gnosis.

Some Tom Swifties

2004-02-29T19:01:26Z

"I failed to override the gallant reflex, sir," Tom said stiffly.
"Well, not exactly downsized," Tom said cannily.

Don't blame me, blame my Guide Dog Aunt's friends who forward her stuff.

2004-02-13T07:36:17Z

A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife.

"Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner.

"Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog.

That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?"

"I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Good Lord! He's Pentecostal!"

azurelettuce @ 2004-02-07T15:13:00

2004-02-07T22:10:38Z

Task supposed to be done by 3:59, 5 minutes late.

azurelettuce @ 2004-02-07T02:57:00

2004-02-07T09:54:31Z

So, how do you know if your computer's pregnant?

When C:\...\bellybutton.ini changes to C:\...\bellybutton.oti

(A rerun.)

azurelettuce @ 2004-01-21T14:45:00

2004-01-21T21:43:11Z

So a friend of mine has mouse troubles -- red backed voles, shrews -- and one day she found her dog chewing on the latest furry invader.

It was quite, quite dead.

... Vole de mort.

Old geeks don't retire. They just become obsol33t.

Titillate Ocelot

2004-01-20T02:35:39Z

How do you titillate an ocelot?

You oscillate her tits a lot.

First post

2003-07-17T09:56:43Z

There may not ever be any real content here, but I guess I'm going to put in an entry so randoms can comment instead of just leafing me alone.